“Sixties, Schmixties.”

Diana Nyad swam from Cuba to Key West, Fla without a shark cage in under 53 hours.

YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKES!

She’s a bloody legend.

#WomenInspiringWomen

Introducing…+256

Obviously, Uganda doesn’t need an introduction.

But my new blog , TwoFiveSix, does!

I have moved back to my original breeding grounds.

My love for growing pains has not diminished. I think the two platforms will serve different purposes. Even if they overlap, that’s still alright.

xo to the pq,

N

 

Influenced by a Post

One day I met a graceful girl.

She was not only graceful, her vibe told a slice of a story. This was a soul actively trying to do better.

This girl wrote a post today.

Simple, yet meaningful.

Please, feast.

http://evelyn-breakthrough.blogspot.com/2013/05/my-bloggables.html?spref=tw

What Works, What Doesn’t.

Second week of school is done.

Ashamedly, I feel hammered. Beat. Pathetic. Exhausted. Defeated.

No, I didn’t try to build a nuclear weapon in a week- but close. After six months of working and relaxing in South Africa and Uganda respectively, my body experienced a rude awakening to the roller coaster that is university life. Ah-yo-ma! (South African slang for Ehhhh or Gossshhh or AYAYAYAYA)

I should have known I had forgotten how to balance social life and being somewhat on top of my reading. It’s only the second week but I am incredibly behind. Even self-admiting makes me cringe into a golf ball. Ugh- that unkind feeling of self-disgust. 

But, with all thunderstorms, they eventually stop and in comes the light drizzle and rainbow o’er on the horizon. I rediscovered my love for chilling at Argo Tea (at the insistence of a friend) and found this gem of a column. E.Jean is my new role model. Her Elle columns are funny as heaven. It really is exciting stumbling upon people/blogs/foods I know nought.

Here are my brief lessons learned over the past weeks:

Doesn’t

1. Multitasking needs to take a \_ No cushion. It’s incredibly misleading and never, ever breeds success.

2. Paranoia in moderate quantities is good. Paranoia in excess is deadly. I’m currently waiting admission into Paranoids Anonymous.

3. Not every thought needs to transition into spoken word. By disobeying this crucial rule, I committed the biggest gaffe of my life.

Works

1. Compressing tasks to humanly achievable forms. Making long lists of that busy schedule only makes me feel busy. Procrastination to avoid the long list always wins the seduction battle.

2. Argo Tea is my spot. For studying.  And people-watching.

3. Smiling at strangers is fun.

4. Shifting an acquaintance to the friend zone is a cool experience when it’s mutual.

5. Allowing myself to learn the least expected from other people. Every day.

6. Believe.

7. A week without a workout is as bad, if not worse, as accidentally tasting spoilt milk. Walking to campus is a serious cop out.

8. E.Jean just knows what’s up.

9. In every crapper, there’s a pearl. No, really.

And 10. Move on.  It’s as easy as telling the mind to.

besos mojados,

N

Six Ws To Remaining [Relatively] Sane.

Though a dose of insanity never hurt, here’s a few & quick ways to pump up the energy batteries when they’re drained.

 

Watch a movie.

Walk, till you bleed. Ok, blister.

Work ouuuut. (say it in a J.Cole voice)

Write.

Whistle your way into a choir.

Wire some headphones into an iPod.

A Short Story.

It had been a slow week.

Work was going where work went as usual. Nowhere. The highlight of the week? Her libido was back where it used to be. Except this time there were no items in the shopping cart. For the past three nights, Mali had awoken to little beads of sweat from dreams of her and a faceless man having mind-blowing, sheet-twisting sex. Her conscience clearly haunted her to Zzzzland. What kind of existence was this, where all she could think about was sex? Marriage couldn’t come any sooner. At least with that union, you have a partner within arm’s reach.

It was Friday night. Think Like A Man was finally opening in South Africa’s cinemas. There was no reason to get all dolled up because it was just the girls going to see the movie. Mali was on some other plot. Rain or Sun, Man or Not, she was going to look good. All day. Every day. Boots on, eyebrows tweaked, and lip balm pasted- she was ready.

Famished and with plenty of time to kill before their movie, the group of giggly girls decided to have dinner at a nearby restaurant. As the designated ticket-buyer, Mali quickly ordered a mushroom pizza before getting up to go purchase the tickets. As she made her way through the narrow spaces between seated patrons, one hand reached out and gripped her arm in urgency.

“Excuse me, but…I want to talk to you,” a gentleman whispered from his seat.

“Well…you’re already talking to me.” And with that rude comeback, she shrugged his arm off and made her way to the door. He was a tad aggressive, she thought. Well, whatever, he wasn’t cute. She raced to the ticket counter.

As she walked back to her seat in the restaurant, she guiltily locked eyes with the bold gentleman. Drinking from his wine glass, she couldn’t help thinking how creepy his eyes looked as he watched her take her seat. A lonely-looking pizza ready to be reconciled with its Mama was waiting. She tore one piece and was about to take the first bite when she felt the searing footprint of glaring eyeballs. Woah. Dude was hitting her with all kinds of crazy eyes. Not cute.

Well, to be honest, the attention was half flattering, half creepy. But this was hardly the time to be picking up dudes at the mall.

Dinner finished, the gang stood up and began heading for the exit. Mr. Creepy shot out of his seat and stood waiting by the door. There was no way Mali could avoid him.

“Please, can I have a moment of your time?” Creepy Eyes asks.

Too stunned to respond, Mali let him guide her out of the restaurant to the mall’s courtyard. Secretly, she felt sorry for the dude.  He was really going all out to get her attention.

She looked him dead in the eye. “What do you want?”

“I adore your beauty! Do you mind having drinks with me?”  You know Mali was rolling eyes at this time.

“But what do you want with me?” She presses.

“I’m in love with your personality. I just want to talk…where are you going now?”

“Nigga, hold up. You don’t know me. How can you possibly know my personality already? And I’m going to watch Think Like A Man with my girlfriends. Sorry.” She attempted to get past him and failed.

“Can I join you? I don’t think my brother and I have watched it yet.” He sidestepped her.

“Nah, I don’t think so. It’s girls night. It would be really awkward with you lurking in the background. You just want to fuck me right?”

“Come on! Shhh!” He nervously looks behind and sees a guard eying them suspiciously. “No, I want to spend time with you.”

“Right.”

“What do you tink about drinks after?”

“Tink? Where are you from? Your accent’s…interesting.”

“I’m from Nigeria.”

“Oh okay.”

“My name is Victor.”

“Nice to meet you Victor.”

“Can I call you after the movie, please?”

“Sure.”

“What’s your number?”

“0734556856.” He hands her a business card.

“I’m sorry, what’s your name again?”

“I didn’t give you my name.”

“Okay, sorry. What’s your name?”

“Mali.”

“Mali…maybe we can go back to my place after. I…uh…live in Sandton.” Hesitation. Not a good sign. Why would he need to name-drop a wealthy neighbourhood?

“Not interested. Drinks will be fine.”

“Alright, give me a tinkle when you come out of the movie, okay?” Tinkle? Who the hell says tinkle?

“Tinkle?”

“Yeah. I’ll be waiting for your call.”

“Cool.”

“See you later, Mali…”

And with that exchange, Mali headed up the stairs to the cinema. The decision to wear leggings and boots for just movies now seemed like a mistake. No one needed to tell her Victor’s eyes were locked on the swing of her hips up that staircase. Ew.

***

An Ah-ha! Moment:The Pioneer Woman

Did I mention already that I LOVE blogs?

Yes, I write one…but there are people out there with what I would call “professional” blogs. They’ve got several tabs going on, advertising and a major following. I would like to take this opportunity to announce my All-Time Favourite blog- The Pioneer Woman. A.K.A P-Dub.

To avoid being slapped with a restraining order for stalking, I will try to tone down my praise for her.  She loves cooking, family, God, fashion-y things, photography and giving in to her randomness. And so do I! My friend, Stephanie, introduced me to her through a hilarious post about doughnuts. I know…quite mundane, but wait- she writes with such clarity in describing the moments that make her laugh. It’s so bloody infectious. She inspired me to cook more using different ingredients I never would have tried, appreciate the mundane passings of my amazing life with an “everything can be funny” streak, and LOVE more. Anyone who knows me well knows am about that Big Family, Loving Wife type of life.

Life is way more fun when you give simple moments that chance to awe you.

So here I am, almost five months since being wowed by Ree (P-Dub) and ready to transform my cooking abilities because If Ree Could, Nicole Can.  I hope this summer holiday I can cook through her cookbooks- both of them!

Cookbook 1

Cookbook 2

Perhaps I can time myself, set a deadline? Like Julie & Julia!!! Mmmm, but the big question is Who to Pay For This? Hahaa. Maybe Maama and I can split the bill. The point is, I really like cooking. Before moving off-campus in college, I depended on the school menu which was okay…if you knew how to work it. But then, I moved and had to fend for myself with basic egg and rice recipes. And you CANNOT depend on eggs and rice for the rest of your life, ya know. Cooking sucks your concentration and the greatest joy for me is having friends over and eating with them.

Besides, less food on my plate, less calories on my hips :D

Ha.

xo,

N

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